I can’t be the only one. I ask my husband to unload the dishwasher at 8 a.m. and by 8 p.m. it’s still not done? Did I marry a teenager? Why is there always a daily struggle on the chore chart? I know I’m a SAHM but I’m not also the housekeeper. Yes, ladies I do a lot of work around the house but that doesn’t mean I have to do it all.
I have found a small trick however. Keep reading if you want the dishes done.
1. His Love Language
Have you read Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages? If you haven’t, it’s a relationship game changer! My husband and I did pre-marital counseling and we read this book as homework. We met Gary during a marriage seminar while stationed in Italy. This guy knows his stuff!
If you’re not familiar, every person has a love language. The 5 love languages include;
Gifts Quality Time Words of Affirmation Acts of Service Physical Touch
If you don’t know which love language is his or you want to find out yours, take the quiz here 5 Love Language Quiz
2. How to Use Love Languages
Once you find out his love language, this is how it works.
My husband’s language is physical touch.
I know what you’re thinking, get your head out of the gutter! You don’t have to prostitute yourself to get what you want (My last name is Hooker, so I get a lot of jokes). There are other things than sexual intimacy for physical touch. You can give your husband a back rub, scratch his head, cuddle, hold hands, pat his butt, you get the idea.
Your objective is to fill up his love tank.
Think of a love tank as a tank of gas. Your husband can’t run on empty and neither can you! (we’ll chat about that later) If he hasn’t felt loved lately, he’s not going to be willing to pick up the slack around the house.
3. Once The Tank is Full
Okay, you’ve been working on his love tank. You can’t think of it as a give some get some though. If you do, you’ll be disappointed. Just trust the system. It might take some time, but eventually your husband’s light bulb will go off and be more inclined to help around the house (if that’s your objective)
What About the Other Love Languages?
Lets go over all 5 love languages. Mine is Acts of Service, if you haven’t already guessed.
4. Acts of Service
If your language is, Acts of Service, your love tank gets full when people do things for you. It can be something simple like bringing home milk without asking, mowing the lawn, picking up the house, or putting in a load of laundry.
I always tell me husband how sexy he is when I see him taking out the trash, meow!
Acts of Service not your gig? Lets go over Receiving Gifts.
5. Receiving Gifts
This is your language if you get all giddy when you receive flowers or a necklace. Okay, it DOESN’T have to be extravagant people. People think gift giving has to be expensive.
Did you pass a beautiful wild flower on your way home? Go ahead and grab that for your girl. See his favorite chocolate bar during check out, grab it! Make a handwritten note simply saying, “You’re beautiful and you’re doing great”. Oh man, I just got shivers and that’s not even my love language.
You don’t have to spend money on gifts. It’s truly the thought that counts
6. Quality Time
This person looooves to spend time with you. I know it’s hard after kids but just 5 minutes means the world.
Have a cup a coffee in the morning before the kids get up. Maybe slip in the shower and save some water. Call the babysitter and go on a date. (I know, this one’s harder)
Just sitting together with your undivided attention will get this Quality Time lover’s tank full. Do make sure to put the phones away and to not have any distractions.
7. Words of Affirmation
“You’re so beautiful” “Thank you for taking out the trash” “Great job on dinner” These are just some simple phrases you can use for Words of Affirmation lovers. They just need to hear some small pep talks or phrases from you to feel loved.
Oh, “I love you” is a simple one too. My husband likes to get a lot of I love you’s in daily.
8. Don’t let YOUR Tank Go Empty
Girl, you can’t run on empty either. Let him be aware of your love language too. It really is “Happy Wife, Happy Life” You will see your mood change as your tank gets full. I encourage you to read the full book Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages
It really is a quick read. If you don’t have the time I encourage you to take the quiz I mentioned above. It will change your relationship, FOREVER!
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If you have any questions feel free to leave me a comment or email me at RachaelMichelleHooker@gmail.com